i think my girlfriend's blog is dead

Restless days, Relentless nights

So you had a dream of me fighting over you with him...
Somehow
God knows how
It's too weird but I had a dream about you and some other two females-who-must-not-be-named.
And that dream proofed my point. I really AM madly in love with you and it's 10000000000% certain that I love you more than anyone else I've ever loved and therefore I'd risk anything so that one day we can be something mainly because you're my everything.
I won't stop fighting for us
I won't stop until I can make you happy
I won't stop until I can ward off all your sadness
I won't stop even if you tell me to
Iwon'tstopuntilIcanputaringonyourfingerandlivewithyouforever

Whatever it takes, I'll take it

The sad truth is...

I hate it when it shows he's still on your mind. Lingering somewhere in there. And how you told me you'd never forgive yourself and that thought that you hurt him till you think of it every night, it crushes me. But that doesn't mean I don't want you to tell me. I am eternally grateful that you managed to gather enough courage to tell me about and I do understand that you're telling me everything because you feel like you can tell it to me. So thank you so much for putting so much trust in me. I don't think anyone else would. I'll always feel that tad bit of jealousy in me when he gets mentioned in our conversations and I can't deny that fact. But I'll always have another fact  that can back that up and stop me from getting all douchey on you. The fact that you love me, the fact that you believe in me, the fact that you sacrifice so much for me, and the fact that it's not easy to be in this with me because of all the shit that we have to go through but you still believe it's worth going through for. And for that, I promise you that I will make sure that every ounce of effort you've invested in me will be worth it.

so it seems

you don't realise that what you think would make me happy would only serve to be my demise

With You

I experience things I've never dreamed possible. I've always had an idea of a "dream girl". You exceeded those ideas I have. You are simply amazing.

SKYPING WITH SEXY NOSE NOW

yay

You arrived safely and called last night. We skyped this morning. Now I miss you like hell again. Hope we can skype again tonight.

ATBL

You're still on your plane. I'm praying for your safety. Life sucks without you here. Seriously. I miss you , girl I love.

2 WEEKS

I AM GONNA MISS YOU LIKE HELL BOOHOONIEEEE

I am sorry

for breaking your heart with words I did not mean.
you are still and will forever be my number one.
and ahead of my present, there is only you.
forgive me for tearing you apart.
trusting my words can be hard for you now but I will still promise you my whole heart.
I swear that I'll make you see...
That you're the only one for me.

I'm lost without you

I Love You

9/15/11 8:49:46 PM: dky<3: I always Sayang you okay. I stayed up for you last night somemore :/
9/15/11 8:41:28 PM: dky<3: Mana Ada hurt you. I Sayang you

.........

9/30/11 7:49:58 AM: Christineee: Bye hottiee

9/30/11 7:49:17 AM: dky<3: byee

9/30/11 7:49:10 AM: dky<3: okay :) night night

9/30/11 7:49:03 AM: Christineee: I'm going to bed

9/30/11 7:48:56 AM: Christineee: Okay!

9/30/11 7:48:53 AM: Christineee: Hahaha

9/30/11 7:48:36 AM: dky<3: I'm going to get ready now. So I will reach there earlier.  then mum will not crash into us. Haha

9/30/11 7:47:55 AM: dky<3: hahaha DUWAN

9/30/11 7:47:31 AM: Christineee: Peluk aku sikit

9/30/11 7:47:29 AM: Christineee: Amboih

9/30/11 7:47:16 AM: Christineee: 

9/30/11 7:46:34 AM: dky<3: ikr ~

9/30/11 7:46:54 AM: Christineee: Sàrcasm~

9/30/11 7:45:57 AM: dky<3: :S hahaha you're so hilarious

9/30/11 7:45:45 AM: Christineee: Hahaha

9/30/11 7:45:40 AM: Christineee: I thought you were mocking me

9/30/11 7:45:34 AM: Christineee: Ohhhh

9/30/11 7:45:32 AM: dky<3: ...... K pula.

9/30/11 7:45:22 AM: dky<3: Haha. Cause she thought class starts at 10am .

9/30/11 7:45:12 AM: Christineee: K

9/30/11 7:44:27 AM: dky<3: mum knows my schedule. Nanti dia ingat I ponteng.

9/30/11 7:44:20 AM: Christineee: Sure!

9/30/11 7:44:07 AM: dky<3: Can you pick me up at the back gate instead?

9/30/11 7:43:45 AM: dky<3: Okay okay :)

9/30/11 7:43:22 AM: Christineee: Tee hee

9/30/11 7:43:19 AM: Christineee: Then come back to find parking

9/30/11 7:43:11 AM: Christineee: So I thought of picking you up from college at the foyer or wtv then go out

9/30/11 7:42:46 AM: Christineee: No la I ajak outside because at 9 there is no way to get a parking

9/30/11 7:42:05 AM: dky<3: where do we meet?

9/30/11 7:40:58 AM: dky<3: You decide

9/30/11 7:40:45 AM: Christineee: Anywhere is ok as long as it's with you

9/30/11 7:40:10 AM: dky<3: haha I'm asking you silly Billy

9/30/11 7:39:59 AM: Christineee: Anywhere you want okay? :)

9/30/11 7:39:33 AM: dky<3: Or you prefer to eat in college ?

9/30/11 7:39:17 AM: Christineee: Okay slave

9/30/11 7:38:59 AM: dky<3: Okay boss

9/30/11 7:38:47 AM: Christineee: No choice

9/30/11 7:38:39 AM: Christineee: Sp la kot

9/30/11 7:38:33 AM: dky<3: Can't **

9/30/11 7:38:26 AM: dky<3: Ehh donkey. Later you can find parking how?

9/30/11 7:38:12 AM: dky<3: Ohhh hahaha

9/30/11 7:37:57 AM: Christineee: I was talking abt myself ;)

9/30/11 7:37:32 AM: dky<3: Where got :3

9/30/11 7:37:21 AM: Christineee: So cute :3

9/30/11 7:37:14 AM: Christineee: Hahaha

9/30/11 7:36:58 AM: dky<3: ):<

9/30/11 7:36:49 AM: dky<3: Pergi mampus lahhh

9/30/11 7:36:35 AM: Christineee: Angel of death :(

9/30/11 7:36:08 AM: dky<3: ): nooooo Ashley is an angel ;)

9/30/11 7:35:56 AM: Christineee: Ashley evil ):

9/30/11 7:35:38 AM: dky<3: ):

9/30/11 7:35:33 AM: dky<3: :o

9/30/11 7:35:30 AM: Christineee: Then die

9/30/11 7:34:57 AM: dky<3: Haha you will get diarrhea

9/30/11 7:34:37 AM: Christineee: Or you cook :P

9/30/11 7:33:15 AM: dky<3: hehe then we can pack for sha :)

9/30/11 7:32:48 AM: dky<3: haha okayy :)

9/30/11 7:32:40 AM: Christineee: Buy anything then eat in the car together :3

9/30/11 7:32:24 AM: Christineee: Jahat

9/30/11 7:32:16 AM: dky<3: :P

9/30/11 7:32:13 AM: dky<3: Haha i had snowflake dah semalam

9/30/11 7:31:59 AM: dky<3: Up to you :)

9/30/11 7:31:49 AM: Christineee: no jam at 9++

9/30/11 7:31:09 AM: dky<3: jam sangat

9/30/11 7:30:58 AM: dky<3: haha. You wanna drive ke

9/30/11 7:30:54 AM: Christineee: Snowflake :P

9/30/11 7:30:46 AM: Christineee: Ss15 la :O

9/30/11 7:29:25 AM: dky<3: So how?

9/30/11 7:29:20 AM: dky<3: hahaha. Mcd is not open yet in sp.

9/30/11 7:29:01 AM: Christineee: Anywhere you want! :D

9/30/11 7:28:44 AM: dky<3: where? :3

9/30/11 7:28:39 AM: Christineee: Mcd? :B

9/30/11 7:28:31 AM: Christineee: Then we go brunch?

9/30/11 7:28:21 AM: Christineee: Awwww :B

9/30/11 7:26:50 AM: dky<3: Hmm. I'm gonna get ready at 8am. Reaching there around 9am I guess

9/30/11 7:26:22 AM: dky<3: Sayang you

9/30/11 7:26:11 AM: Christineee: What time are you going?

9/30/11 7:25:59 AM: Christineee: Sayang? :)

9/30/11 7:17:19 AM: dky<3: :)

9/30/11 7:17:15 AM: dky<3: Sayang

9/30/11 7:17:11 AM: dky<3: Why):

9/30/11 7:12:18 AM: Christineee: :(

9/30/11 6:39:36 AM: dky<3: Go sleep silly

9/30/11 6:39:37 AM: Christineee: Gugugugfu

9/30/11 6:11:24 AM: dky<3: Why r u awake? ): go sleeppp

9/30/11 4:16:11 AM: Christineee: Poke poke

9/30/11 3:40:51 AM: Christineee: Crap la imy :(

9/30/11 3:39:30 AM: Christineee: Meoww

9/29/11 10:27:33 PM: Christineee: Night :)

9/29/11 10:27:25 PM: Christineee: That's like putting you far away

9/29/11 10:27:17 PM: dky<3: Night hun

9/29/11 10:27:06 PM: dky<3: You should put your phone far away. To reduce your headache.

9/29/11 10:26:08 PM: dky<3: Hug

9/29/11 10:25:59 PM: Christineee: Hug

9/29/11 10:25:37 PM: dky<3: You too , Good night

9/29/11 10:25:17 PM: Christineee: Call me if you need anything

9/29/11 10:25:04 PM: Christineee: Sweet dreams

9/29/11 10:25:00 PM: Christineee: Good night ashley :)

9/29/11 10:24:23 PM: dky<3: Good night, sleep tight n sweet dreams.

9/29/11 10:23:54 PM: dky<3: I promise :)

9/29/11 10:23:39 PM: Christineee: Okay promise me you'll sleep then :)

Silence is a frustrating answer, When all you want is a sign

I just want to help

amazing how lately i've managed to stay positive and tell myself i should only do everything my way and everything will be ok but tonight I just feel like shit. I've never done anything enough for anyone. fuck my life.

ATBL

Eve of 11/11/11

Before you go on to read this, I want you to take a deep breath, and thank a few people. I'll give you a list: God the Almighty; for giving you the chance to live and see the world, Your parents; for raising and helping you find light in this life, Your loved ones; for making you feel assured that you're never alone in this world and last but not least, YOURSELF; for all the effort you took, to carry on living every second and every minute of your life. For getting through all the struggles life put you through. Scraping through with scars known as life-lessons to give you that every bit of experience that will be forever useful to yourself.

Moving on...

Today, was a hectic day, full of miracles. Prompted me to change more about myself. I faced a huge-ass mountain of a problem today, but in the end, everything is fine. Life fucks you up at times but at the end of a dark tunnel there's is always an exit...filled with a ray of light. The trouble I faced made me feel like my life is always fucked up but it also helped me learn that whatever problems in life, there is always a solution.

And then there was her..
As usual, standing by my side. It wasn't her duty or job, no one told her to. But she chose to stand by me. Never have I felt that I actually can lean on someone truthfully. Never have I felt that someone actually has my back, 100%. And I, am eternally grateful that God gave me a chance to meet her. Thank you God for crossing our paths.
And thanks to her, for calming me down, pushing me to go through and telling me that everything will be fine. She promised me a glimmer of hope, I got a full blast of confidence in the end.

I promised myself that I'll never let go of her, something so precious and rare.
Day by day I'm beginning to get more and more hints.....
Love of my life? Maybe, hopefully.
This can sound childish but yeah, I love her, and deep down in my heart...
ireallyhopethaticanmarryherbecauseeverythingshedoesisbeautifulandherpresencekeepsmecalmandsane
I FEEL LIKE I'VE FOUND THE ONE. 

one sexy watch

A month

1 month ago I was looking into your eyes, embracing your warmth.
Tonight here we are singing together on Skype.
I love you.

Hold On To Me

Quote from a friend

"Sometimes it's pathetic to see how all the good times and things done are just pushed aside for something else that wasn't pleasant and it's also pitiful to see how anger brings out harsh words from peoples mouth which they don't mean at the end of the day."

One Step Taken Towards Greatness

Solved one of a few conflicts today. Big achievement indeed. Guess who played a big part in helping me handle that problem? Yup. Her. I guess coming up with amazing surprises is her specialty. I never expected anyone to help out that much. I never expected anyone apart from my own parents would go from one place to another (great distance between these two places mind you) just to help me solve my problems. I've never experienced this. This kind of treatment. Lost for words, all I could do was thank her.

And so that marks the end of one of my problems. True, there's more I have to solve, and true, there's always more to come but a lesson I recently learned today was that no matter what comes your way, you will always get through it even though it can be really hard to do so.

Today I mark another change, I will move away from being the pessimist that I was. She told me to never look at the worst possible outcome out of anything. And her words, well, they're the kind of words I'm not afraid to believe in.

Thank you Allah for getting me through this and another thanks to her, for being by my side yet again.

Sometimes

To get through a fight, it's not about who has the balls. It's about who has the heart and the maturity.

A New Chapter

With the creation of this blog, I announce a new chapter in my life. I announce a change. From today onwards, I'll live my life the way I want to live it. I do what I want. I'll do what's best for me. I won't change myself to suit other people's interest. I won't change myself unless I want to.

This week has had it's ups and downs. I decided to look at it in a more positive way. I had fights with friends. Some of them I've managed to fix, some of them decided to ignore me. It's a tough period of time. But I'll let everything be. I'll fix what I can. I can forgive, I can forget, but if the other party decides not to make a move, I don't see any reason why I should even try. As someone who I hold really dear to me said, "it takes two hands to clap".

Honestly, without that 'someone' I don't really know how I'd handle all this trouble. She helped me out. A lot. Countless of priceless advices. So priceless I don't know how I can ever repay her. She wasn't on my side. She was BY my side. She accompanied me on nights I know I'll have a hard time going through alone. I can safely assure myself that I am deeply in love with her.

A very momentous week it was. I might have made some enemies maybe (and hopefully it won't last), but I have certainly caught a glimpse of a possible future love of my life.

I will change. To be a better person. A better man. And I'll start by appreciating life.

LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE.