An Open Letter to someone I've held so dear

Dear A

  I'm writing this, so you can get a clear picture. I doubt I'll ever be able to explain the whole situation to you face to face, so I needed another way to tell you. First of all, I don't hate you. Sure, I can't deny, you've hurt me. A lot. No one has ever cut a wound so deep into me. But I can never bring myself to hate you. I might be angry for what happened but that will never last long.

You see, I really appreciate what we had. And I'm really grateful to have met you. You stepping into my life, really brightens up everything. I've learned a lot throughout the 8 months we've spent together. We had our ups and we had our downs, but I regret none. In fact I'm really grateful God managed to make our paths cross. To be frank, I never expected us to end so abruptly. I never expected you to crash everything down just when I was building my hopes really up high for us. When I really felt we were going somewhere because I managed to bring you into my family, you just cut everything off. I fell down to the worst depression in my entire life.

 But that's the beauty in life. Life pushes us down and lets us fall and be alone. Why? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.

I walk around, I drive around, places reminds me of you, the events that unfolded in each places, the times we spent together in each and every one of the places. But I'm not sad, I'm not angry, well at least not anymore. Quite the contrary, whenever things and places reminds me of you, I smile. I smile because I know I had a beautiful life experience with you. I smile because I remember the good times, I smile because I knew back then life was great.

 But let's be honest, we both know no matter what happens, we won't be able to relive that again. I don't care about it either. They are beautiful memories. And memories should forever stay as memories. I'll never forget each and every one of the times I've spent with you.

You really were the best for me.

But times have changed, time have made me cold, time have made me realize that I've been slacking from the real world. Time made me realize how much I've been lacking in my studies, and how much I'm just not dealing with the real life. Our fairytale ended, I brought myself up to face the real world.

I wish I could say I want you back. But I can't. Because I just don't feel it anymore. The pain of everything that's happened just prevents me from doing so. But still, don't get me wrong, I don't hate you at all. For the forseeable future, I can't see us getting back together at all. And even somehow if we do, things won't be the same.

 Therefore, I'm writing you to wish you all the best in your next chapter of your life. It's time to close our chapter. It was a hell of a fun ride, exciting and amazing. But everything has got to come to an end. And I don't want it to end in a very bad way.

We both will walk on, we both will live on. We both will learn to love again someday. I know you're looking to replace me and such, but you should know I'm not looking to replace you. In fact, I'm not looking for anyone at all. All I'm focusing right now is my studies. I know for a fact that you're irreplaceable. I know for a fact that I will probably never find someone that would ever treat me as good as you did. But I'm prepared to live with that.

The good times, no matter how good they were, they are gone. Long gone. But I'll forever cherish them. They are a part of who I am today, and who I am in the future. Thank you for stepping into my life and making me a better person.

 I know you'll find someone in the future. I don't know if it might actually be me again (though I can't see that happening for now). All I wish is for you to be happy. Because you deserve to be happy. And yes, I do care about you. You played a big role in my life. And significant people in my past will always have a place in my heart.

 All I'm asking for you is to take good care of yourself and don't beat yourself up because of what happened. Life doesn't revolve around a relationship. And if one day by any chance you wanna grab a drink or anything just give me a ring and we'll see if we can meet up.

 Till then, good luck and thank you. For everything, from the bottom of my heart.


 I hereby close down this blog, for good.

                                                                                                                                                      ZAIN