I want to die

Everytime I close my eyes youre there. Everytime I'm in my room I see you in places you've sat. I imagine you using my laptop on my desk, you laying on my bed, I imagine you in my showers while I wake up. I'm a wreck. A fucking wreck. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. I wish I can manipulate time. I'd rewind back to where we are at the happiest. I'd rewind every single moment I've had with you. The ups and the downs. The tickling around and the worst fights. They're all wonderful compared to this feeling I have right now. And I'd pause in between. So i'd have the chance to gaze upon your precious face. A fucking black hole right in my heart. Everything I do I feel empty. Play games, go out, meet people, walk, eat, talk, sleep....there's no joy in anything. Why god? Why her? She was my everything. You've taken someone I love most too far early from me. Now what will the future hold? I can't stand the thought of seeing her with someone else, seeing her kissing someone else, even imagining her possibly in bed with another guy. I can't breathe. I can't speak. I cried in front of my friends. I thought I've felt the pain of heartbreak before but this is different. God, you've taken this pain to a whole other level which I could not bear. People say give her time, give her space, maybe she'll rethink. But I'm afraid she'll move on. I want to die.