Life is unfair

It's unfair how you're out with your friends and family, I'm inside my room all locked up. Haven't been opening the curtain for ages. This darkness, it used to be scary but now it seems like a friend. You know how you get the feeling that in darkness someone is watching you? Well that thought gives me pleasure knowing that there is actually someone. I don't want to be alone. You're probably having the time of your life. You're probably laughing at me for being so pathetic if you're reading this. You've made progress in moving on. You have other people to make you laugh. Me? I don't even know when was the last time I smiled or laughed. Oh yeah that's right, I remember, it was in your car. Laughed and smiled while crying. I'm not asking for pity. I'm not asking you to feel sorry. But please rethink everything. If you really love me you wouldn't let me become a victim of racism and prejudice, you would've shielded me from all that. Where is the person who's stood up for me throughout all our 7 months. What happened. Don't give up on me. Don't give up on us. I'm enraged at the thought of the holidays ending at 1 July. That's a long time. A long time away from you. What if we start college and all I can see in you was someone I used to know. What if you've found another. I've planned my holidays around you. Now I'm left rueing of what could have been. We could have been having breakfast lunch or dinner. We could be having a night in a hotel and just enjoy ourselves swimming in the pool or ordering room service. We could have gone to the beach maybe enjoying a sunset. But now you have all that planned with your friends. I have my holidays spending time in my room punching walls and screaming. Crying listening to music. Is this what happened to you when you brokeup with your ex? I guess so. Maybe because that time he was with all your friends while you were alone. Now it's vice versa. I don't have any friends. They have their own life. They have their own girlfriends. They have problems with their girlfriends and they would ask me for advice. They would hate their girlfriends and call them a bitch etc. I would just scream at them and say they should be fucking grateful they have someone by their side. They should put their ego down and look at things in a fairer way. But the truth is, nothing is fair. Nothing at all. Especially the way I was treated. The way I was brought through all this. Save me.